Abandonment issues - absent father?

I can't really answer this because I don't think you asked a question lol. Just be reading this, you seem to articulate your thoughts well, which would indicate to me that you are intelligent. Luckily I was fortunate enought to always have both my parents involved, although my mom did struggle with addiction for a large part of my childhood, fortunately she seems to have gotten over that. I don't think their is any answer to make you not sad, life dealt you a bad card. How could someone ever get over the lose of a loved one for example. My best advice for you would be to live your life to the fullest and be a great person so that whenever you think of him, you can say to yoruself wow look at what he missed out on. Strive to be sucessful in spite of him rather then falter because of him.